oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
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dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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