Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
