He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize