Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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