When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
