You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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