Barsexuality is the new black.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
