My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
