Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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