We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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