so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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