I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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