How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
