Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
