dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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