This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
