Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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