Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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