He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
