you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
