It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
