oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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