Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize