dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
