I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize