How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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