Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
