I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
