Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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