Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
