Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
