I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
