I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
