so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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