I smell stomach acid.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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