WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Someone shit on the floor
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
