He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
