There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
