I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
