nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
