Just fell off a train. Bad.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
