I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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