Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
