sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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