I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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