Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"it" just moved
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
