Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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