Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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