You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
