dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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