saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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