It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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