He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
