But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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