I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
