Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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