I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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