Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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