I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
