i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
