Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
