if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
