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CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
