is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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