Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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(516): View more from New York

Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.

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(630): View more from Illinois

wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

(816): View more from Missouri

yes. helicopter.

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(360): View more from Washington

Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.

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(614): View more from Ohio

the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots

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(425): View more from Washington

There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future

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(614): View more from Ohio

You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Just the cushions

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