Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
