Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
