is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just google imaged poop.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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