a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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