I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
